shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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