So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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