i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize