Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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