Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
