4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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