bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Sex in the backyard? Check.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
