please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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