You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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