i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
