I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
