I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize