This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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