OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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