10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
