I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
