i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This is the high leading the old right now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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