and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize