my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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