called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
