he puts the penis in happiness.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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