something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
