garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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