Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Text me some of your sweat
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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