Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
