Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am puke
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
