addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
