we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
