I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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