I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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