Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
