Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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