barbara walters just said penis...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
