"it" just moved
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
