we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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