how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
