dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
