You work out of a Hotel?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
