either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
