im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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