hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
