if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
