At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
