You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
