actually, I'm a sock model
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
