Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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