Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
