dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
