Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
