Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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