Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
