If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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