i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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