Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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