i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You made out with two different species that night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
