her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
