I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
