Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
