It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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