the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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