R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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