and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
