I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
