I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
